


Constant

by EllieCee



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: And angst, F/F, Friendship, Gen, lady lovin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-30
Updated: 2017-05-30
Packaged: 2018-11-06 18:45:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11042070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieCee/pseuds/EllieCee
Summary: A Warden-Commander's life is never constant, always changing. Somehow a certain mage always found his way back into her life.-A very cheesy Amell Warden/Anders friendship fic for the soul.





	Constant

She’d been sent to fetch scrolls from an apprentice across the hall – something she feared because she didn’t like the way the older children made faces at her. Her mind had been focused on figuring out how to ignore them when a figure dashed past her.

There was a sound of hinges opening and she was soon faced with a pair of feet hanging on the edge of a window. It was followed by a soft thump. She walked carefully towards it and almost fell back when a blonde head popped up from the bushes outside.

“Shhh!” the boy hissed.

She stayed still as she watched the boy reach inside again to haul two poorly wrapped bags of robes and stolen bread.

“I’m getting out, don’t tell,” he whispered, and soon he was out of sight.

It wasn’t until later, when the Templars dragged him through the doors that she realized it’d been the infamous Anders.

 

-

 

Amihan Amell, Warden-Commander and Hero of Ferelden. She should be blazing in glory and pride and she makes believe that she does. But the reality of it is the heavy weight of responsibility that had been placed on her shoulders. It was something she’d never asked for. And she’d never admit it because she’d only sound ungrateful.

She attempted to count the good things that had come out this: A safer Ferelden, the end of a Blight, a country away from the hands of a corrupt king, a Leliana to love…and freedom?

Many long to escape the Circle and very few manage to. Others met death while she’d only met a year in chainmail and blood. And possibly a life of this…

She ran into the damp halls of Vigil’s Keep with Mhairi, her senses now alert and adept to the slightest movement. She’d never been like this and she’d never believe she would be this person. The old Amihan, the one walking alone in robes around a tower felt like a different lifetime.

“Commander,” Mhairi alerted.

They heard a muffled commotion behind a scratched-up wooden door. She looked at Mhairi, and after her knowing nod, she reached for her Spellweaver and smashed through the door.

They were met by a cloud of fire and smoke and the sound of chainmail clanging against the brick floor. The smoke cleared and five Templars lay on the ground, a man in the middle, looking shocked and amused.

“Ah, hot, hot,” he said, shaking his hands.

She knew him.

“I’m Anders, remember me?”

“No,” she lied.

 

-

 

Her face hurt from smiling so silly at the letter in her hands.

“Dearest,” Leliana had called her. She was nearing twenty now, but the slightest forms of affection, even from her own love, made her react so ridiculously. She wondered if she’d ever get used to it.  

“Who’s the lucky fella?”

She instinctively reached for the sword behind her that wasn’t there and turned, only to see Anders smirking behind her.

No wonder he’d been able to escape so many times – she barely heard him.

“Mind your own business,” she huffed, quickly turning away, attempting to hide the red from her cheeks.

Anders cackled.

“You’ve been smiling at that letter for fifteen minutes,” he said, “I went looking for my earrings and the whole time you stood there smiling.”

“Shouldn’t you be looking for your earrings then?” she sighed, shooting him an annoyed look.

He dangled a golden hoop in front of her and said “Found ‘em already. So, that must’ve been a really nice letter from your boyfriend huh? Maybe it’s inappropriate, that’s why you won’t say.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, but it didn’t wipe the grin off his face.

“It’s not my boyfriend,” she stated. Anders looked at her strangely, because it couldn’t have been family.

Mages don’t have families. They’re not allowed to.

“It’s my girlfriend,” she finally admitted after a minute of silence. The grin on Anders’s face softened into a smile.

“You love her don’t you?” was the only thing he replied.

She didn’t know why she’d let a wall fall for that moment, but she nodded and let Anders see the tender look on her face. The kind a Warden-Commander should never let show.

She expected some smart remark, but his smile stayed as he placed a hand on her shoulder.

“Love as much as you can. You’re allowed to now,” he said to her before walking off.

 

-

 

It’s the third month in Amaranthine when it all hit her. They’d all just found Kristoff’s room at the Crown and Lion, only to be met by his absence.

Anders, who she’d assumed would be used to running around, had begged her to let them sit and have a drink. She finally said yes after his failed attempt at puppy eyes.

She watched the rest of them down their ales, fiddling with the threads on her gloves. She looked up for a moment and thought that she’d caught sight of short red hair and quickly turned her head. There was nobody there.

She realized then that it’d been months since she’d heard Leliana’s voice, and crippling pang shot through her chest. Leliana and her had only been allowed five months together. To anybody else, five months would’ve been ample. But five months was nothing compared to twelve years without any form of affection. It’d felt like she’d been starved and only given crumbs to eat.

She longed to feel Leliana’s arms around her, and her chin against her shoulder, humming against her ear. She missed the way Leliana’s hair brushed against her cheek when she held her in her arms.

It wasn’t until she felt a hand on her shoulder that she realized a stream of tears had been trickling down her cheek.

“What’s wrong Ams?”

She hated when Anders called her that, but at the moment, it felt strangely comforting.

“Nothing,” she mumbled.

He took another swig of ale before sitting beside her. Her usual response would’ve been to shove him away, but she let him, not wanting to draw attention to her tears.

“You miss her, don’t you?”

She looked away from him.

He placed the mug down on the table.

“It’s hard when someone you love is far away. And you know what? It’s okay to cry.”

She fiddled with the threads on her gloves again.

“Who gives as sod if you’re the Warden-Commander? You have feelings too.”

She wiped her face with the back of her hand before turning to face him.

“I don’t care what anyone thinks about me as the Warden-Commander,” she replied, “It’s just that…l-loving someone is frightening.”

Anders smiled.

“What are you smiling for? Because you’ve seen the Hero of Ferelden cry?” she snapped.

Anders put an arm around her and laughed.

“No, you silly nug. Glad to see the Circle didn’t turn you numb. I’m happy that you’ve found someone to love. And you know what, I’m sure she loves you just as much.”

“I was always jealous that you had Karl,” she added.

His face had fallen and she feared she’d said something wrong. But his face softened once more as his eyes moistened with tears.

“Now you have your own Karl,” he replied, voice shaking. He pulled her closer and kissed her head, making her ache for Leliana’s affections further. She’d have punched him at any under circumstance, but she let herself lean against him. She hadn’t a friend in a while either.

 

-

 

Amihan always felt like life wanted to keep her away from everything she could love. Family, friends, and a lover. She didn’t want to be the kind of person to tell somebody to stop doing what they’ve always wanted. And being Divine Justinia’s right hand is everything Leliana had wanted.

But at least this time, life gave her a good couple of years with her Leliana in Denerim, before she packed up again.

“It’d be like I never left, I promise,” Leliana had kissed into her shoulder, “I’ll be in Denerim whenever I can, dearest.”

And she was. But as the tension between the Mages and Chantry grew, Leliana’s presence became less and less. Amihan never let herself sleep on Leliana’s side of the bed, as the pillows still smelled of her hair.

“Dearest,” she wrote, “I’m afraid I cannot make it this winter like I had promised. Justinia has sent me to investigate the uprisings in Kirkwall. I’d have turned the job away but I didn’t want it in anyone else’s hands. I don’t trust anyone else in this Chantry to take Mages into consideration. Please understand because I also want to protect you.”

Then Amihan learned of the Champion of Kirkwall.

“Sinag Hawke is her name,” Leliana had written. The name rang familiar until she’d realized that the Champion is distant cousin. She almost laughed.

She wondered if she would ever meet her. She wondered if she knew that she existed.

She’d spoken too soon.

It was a clear night when she heard a knock on her door. In her heart she hoped it would be Leliana, coming back early, hoping to surprise her.

When she opened the door, she was met with two hooded figures. Instinct told her to reach for the Spellweaver, but the feeling of danger wasn’t there.

The man pulled down his hood, revealing a head of familiar blonde hair.

“This is going to sound insane, but Sinag – I mean, Hawke, told me to speak to you because you might actually know me.”

Amihan glanced at the woman beside him, attempting to piece her face together from faint memories.

“I’m Anders, remember me?” he finished.

“Yes,” she replied.

**Author's Note:**

> The reason for this is because I have a soft spot for mages. When I found out that the Champion of Kirkwall is related to the Amell Warden, tens and thousands of headcanons flew through my head. My Amell Warden is basically my baby lol. 
> 
> I love unlikely friendships and I always really liked the idea of a certain person always somehow finding their way back to your life. And given how I've played the games, it's very likely that Anders would've found his way back into the Warden's life again. 
> 
> Also, I just really love mages being there for each other.


End file.
